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i don't think i've ever, ever felt as lonely as i do now.
yesterday i walked two miles with a guitar on my back and a tenor sax in my hand in the pouring rain, only to realize i was locked out of my house. nobody answered the phone when i called for help.

my two best friends like each other. i guess i've always felt a little bit third wheel, but now it's official. i know one will never hurt me on purpose, but i also now know that i've never actually meant much to the other. plus my only other best friend that really truly cares is going to college soon.

when i decided to come home today my dad was eating dinner all by himself. it hurts to think about how he eats dinner alone, every single night.